and I don't want to live this life....

Screw it.. screw it all!!

Why do I even bother, time and time again heart ache after heart ache. It's the same dame thing.. like a boy, boy likes you .. then boy doesn't anymore.. your hurt because you were lead on and you were ready to take a step in a new direction..

Always one step forward 2 back for this girl. I don't know why.. why me. Thousand of girls ask this question everyday, they shouldn't have to. I'm a good person, I have so much to give, but no body wants it. Only person I can think of live millions of miles away...

My heart can't take it, so long I've gone through the same thing over and over and over again. I can't even count on my fingers and toes how many times I've been lead on like this and then pushed down a well.

Think I'm stupid? I do, I know I am... I shouldn't care about guys and what they think of me. It's a simple fact that love makes everything a little better. You have someone to share things with, your secrets your dreams.. everything. I'm just glad I got to experience it once.

When you tell someone you like them a lot, and start talking about the future... then come to tell me that your ex is back in your life.. expect me to be pissed. It hurts.. a lot. I know now how others feel. What goes around comes around, but I just don't understand.

I thought things were getting better. Clearly not. Christmas is just around the corner and for the 4th year I'm waiting under the mistletoe alone again.

I kept telling myself I don't need a man in my life, I wish I did. I miss it. I miss being in love, even the fighting part.. oddly enough.

I'm done school for now, my 2nd semester is right around the corner and I'm heading to placement. My days will be filled with work and sleeping and more work. My social life will go down the shitter, and I'll be just another working drone. Have I lost my sense of adventure and lust for travel, not.. but I have to post pone my exploration. I can only get lost in a book or a movie now.. thankful I love both.

I just finished a great book called "and I don't want to live this life" by Deborah Spungen, Nancy Spungen's mother.. the punk rockers girlfriend.. you know Sid Vicious. It was incredible. I cried, I cringed, I felt sorry for her, I hated her... I hated myself because I knew reading this book that that woman that mother went through so much shit.. and I'm just having boy problems and family issues. So what.

If you don't know who this woman is.. research then read.. you'll throughly enough it.

I finally got around to watching Wanted, awesome movie!!! I love the sound track to.. it was incredible!!

Thats it.. my rant for the day.. I'm off to kill myself with boredem lol

This is Not a Love Song.

Another month come and gone. Does it ever feel like the world with ever just take a breather for once? Nope, just keeps going and going and going.

Well that's how I feel. No matter how much I accomplish in my life more just keeps piling up on me.

So yesterday, being the silly and over dramatic and emotionally unstable girl I am. I had a melt down. Yup, nothing pretty about it... just so many things were thrown at me yesterday. I just couldn't handle it. I feel like I still can't and it's going to get worse.

When it comes to school I'm not the most optimistic person. I feel like I've been in the same place for all 3 years of school and haven't gone anywhere.

This week has just become the most stressful and paining week of my schooling life. I need a vacation already TT_TT.

In all my year I've been going out for halloween would I ever feel that this holiday was as stressful as it is. Trying to find the perfect costume thats [for me] sexy, fun, exciting, creative etc. This year I've decided to purchase my costume...bad idea. Costumes never look as good on as they look on the package!!!

50 buck-a-roos down the drain because of a bad impulse buy.



Why are people so keen on listening to one side of a story and not the other.. laziness? Who knows. When it comes to gossip, in my experience, people tend to tell or say something to the gossiper IF the subject of said gossip is about them. They bash them and say hateful things, but never ask to hear THE REAL STORY!!!!
People are soooo daffed!! We want to hate, we want to complain about the gossip issue just for kicks. I should know, I've been in this situation (on both sides) many a times.

Don't tell me "hey I heard what you said about me..bla bla bla.. say it to my face" and then never talk to me again and not get the real story. Who knows, it might not actually be true. OR the person or people who hear the "thing" could be trying to start some drama, when in fact I COULD HAVE BEEN JOKING!!!!!!!

Don't be so one sides regardless of your relationship with the other person.

If dealing with my parents headach of a divorce has taught me one thing it's that THERE ARE ALWAYS 2 SIDES TO EACH STORY!!!


I just want to give a shout out to one of the greatest guys I know and one of my best friends in the entire Universe!!! Graeme, thanks for being their for me yesterday in my time of need.. you were the white light in that dark tunnel for me!!

it's daja vu all over again

I sat in my car for a moment contemplating my reactions to this night. Did I make the right choices, should I have been more upfront about my emotions. My answer was such a blur, I couldn't even remember the night my head was so fogged up. Here I was sitting in front of my soon to be bought house in Miss. bawling my eyes out just because one guy didn't give a damn about me.. didn't take the time to care about my feelings. I pondered for a moment tears streaming down my face, I could hear the faint whistle of the wind between my car window. It was music to my ears next to Clocks by Coldplay.
I gripped my wheel titer and titer, the blood boiled in me, my tears coming down harder and harder, every inch of my body stood on end. I was furious.
" Why should I apologize" I thought, I did nothing wrong at all, and yet I tried to mend it by saying sorry twice... was I that stupid. I called and knocked and rang.. nothing...

I felt alone again, like I felt so very often. Sitting alone in my car watching the moon glare back at me with his cheerful eyes... I wanted to punch him so much. Why me.. why does this ALWAY happen.. first him, then him.. then again.. then him... then HIM again.. twice..seriously was I that blind.. then him.. oh then there was him.. then that one.. then was that one. His face so perfect in my mind. Like he was a painting, I could see it so clearly, a tear fell... everyone was routing for us to be SOMETHING... and something deep inside of me wanted something... so fall slowly back to the place I looooove to be... "in love", it felt so right.. everything was soooo right. FINALLY someone had chased me.. and then 1 week went by, then 1 1/2 weeks, then 2.. soon it was a month and my prince charming vanished before my black eyes....

A ray of hope... he was so beautiful, like a statue, a god.. his eyes soooo blue and inviting, his lips so soft and caring.. his hair was the most amazing thing I had ever seen on a man ever. My kmees weekend at the sight of him, he was everything a kookie and realy nerdy girl like me could ask for in a guy friend ever.. but my feelings then changed from friend to crush and soon my heart would beat faster ever time I saw him.

Things changed, I should have left well enough alone.... like right now as I write this. I'll regrate it in the morning.. but at least I got this off my chest. I keep to much bottled up.

People egged us on.. like we were ment to be.. but clearly it wasn't. Fate had a different plan and so I shall take my punch card of faith and leave it at that.. I take back my apology, I take back all the "what ifs" and "well it could have beens" twice now.. my phone was perfectly fine.. I waited.. and waited.. nothing. Like a dead bird on the road no one came..

Is it me.. am I not good enough for anyone.. am I just a lost cause. People may think I over react, but they don't realize how many time this has happened to me and how much faith I've lost in myself...

the moons light pours into my window like ray of hope, but it's gone. I'm back to the start.. it's quiet, next to the roaring sound of my computer motor, my heart beats fast thinking of him. My blood just raging at the though of him, when I saw him... my heart sanks.. like the titanic. My stomach gave an unpleasent turn... I wasn't having any of it.. I told myself, it's like crying over spilt milk.. I'll clean it up and get over.. but the stories.. the gossip.. I lost all hope.

I'm 21.. I've been through more shit then most.. what could a couple guys do... nothing I thought. This was nothing compaired to what was ahead. I could feel my face getting warmer, I knew I had to keep my spirits up if I ws going to get through this last year. I was still going to hate what happened, my heart plunged to the bottom of my stomach, but my only levey was my friendship with them.. and that wouldn't change a bit....

I use to rule the world..

Dear Summer,

Hi it's Jenna, hope all is well out there. I'm sorry I haven't seen you in months, I've been so busy NOT having a life that I just haven't had the time to pop my head out and see you.

Working 2 jobs is harder then I thought, but it's getting me money and that's my objective during your season.

I do miss my friends an awful lot, and the birds, butterfly's, the sun... oh make sure to tell him I said hello. This year I will be artificially tanning.. from a bottle. Oh don't tell him that, he isn't very good with that kind of news, however, I do apologize.

I miss your sounds; the water, birds, millions of cars driving along the highway heading to their cottages to go ski-doing and party, I miss the sounds of drunk teenagers, children at the playground, swimming pools and bbqs, bonfires, fireworks and concerts.. EVERYTHING!!!

Oh well summer, I did get to enjoy a little bit of you. I must admit if I did enjoy MORE I would feel really lazy and sit on my ass all day and play WoW. So I'm not tooooooo sorry I didn't get a chance to spend time with you, I feel a sense of accomplishment working 2 jobs, and loving them might I add :D

Compared to last year, I actually feel like I'm doing something with my life regardless if it's working part time at a movie theatre and watching my 2 year old cousin :D

Summer, I've hit a lot of road bumps this year... honestly this summer could be considered the worst and the best summer ever!! I've met tons of new people who's influenced my life, and made my once depressing and drama ladened life into a more positive and un-complex one. That doesn't mean I myself isn't complex because I don't think that will ever change.

I feel like I have so much to teach people about life, young and old. Everyday becomes a new learning experience for me and I pay attention to detail so much so that the littlest of things change my views, doesn't matter what. Someone told me I don't give myself enough credit, it's true.. I've accomplished so much in my life, I may not be a world renowned scientist, or athlete, or model but I believe somewhere along my life's path I've helped someone in a way that had influenced them.

Summer, this year I've been reflecting on everything in my past and seeing where I've gotten so far and what things I've done to change my path to head on a positive road compared to that dark and sketchy one. I think a light bulb has gone off in my head.. I'm writing, now that's sign.

My mind is sooo jumbled up and I have so much going on in my brain I'm finding it hard to figure things out, but I'm still trying to keep that positive frame of mind. I know people will get hurt, I know people won't understand, I know I'll hurt myself, make myself smile, laugh, cry, I'll be so pissed off I'll wanna punch someone in the face... but whatever the case maybe fate has laid my life out and I just have to run the course and hopefully my head will drain of my issues and everything will turn out for the better.

Summer, you rock my socks off.. thanks for listening to me! For someone who's given me a million mosquito bites and has rained mostly this year.. your not a bad guy. So have a good one, keep on shining and I shall see you soon enough.

Your friend,

Jenna

Things Happen When You Least Expect Them.

Ah what a glorious Wednesday afternoon.. I'm already at the breaking point and there's no turning back.

I need some serious R&R. I've been feeling really lazy and tired and seeing as my Wii Fit is in the back of my car.. no exercise for today.

So Monday I went home after work to visit with my brother and dad. Had a great dinner with them both and my dad and I went to see Theory of a Dead Man at the Friendship Festival. It was pretty awesome, we were rockin out and just havin a ball!!

My friend Sandi asked me a few days prior if I was interested in coming to Stevensville Garden Center with her, her mom and her mom's sisters and Grandma. So I said yes because I didn't have much else to do and I love her family they are really great :D So I went flower shopping with them for a bit and went back to Sandi's place for a bbq now everyone in her family knew that me and Sandi's cousin were very chatty at Sandi's brothers wedding and we kinda went out on a date.. and what not.. well at 5 o'clock who just happened to roll in.. Dwayne. I knew he was coming.. which I was super excited because I hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks, but WOW when he walked in.. I just couldn't stop smiling.. and everyone looked at me.. I went beet red.

Dinner was great we talked for a bit and he went around talking to all his family and Sandi, Kathy and I were laughing up a storm at all the jokes they were cracking about me liking Dwayne and stuff... I was a hoot!!

So after we all headed down to Kathy and Nick's new place, which by the way, is sooooooooooo nice!! We all walked down to the festival together and watched the fireworks... they were soooo beautiful, however, I wasn't paying to much attention ;D lol I honestly had such a great time.. I've actually went home and came back happy.. this is a first.

I can't wait to this weekend.. mini-putting here I come! lol and I will be victorious!!!!!!

For Love of the Game

Hello my friends, life is good... no?!

So lately I've had a lot on my mind, but when don't I. I keep pushing the problem I should be dealing with to the back of my brain and shoving them in a dark corner in hopes that it'll never come out. However, you know when you have a jar of pennies and each day you add more without rolling them.. and more, and more. Then the next thing you know you've got a full jar of... pennies... The point is.. you'll be needing another jar for the over flowing ones and thats just not fun. So continue from that point.. my brain is the jar.. my problems the pennies.

To be honest folks I'm not one to deal with problems well. I get all choked up an just let it slide, but let me make one thing clear.. not all my issues are bad. I do have good ones... ones that I have to make a life changing decision and either path I take is still good no matter what. I think that these problems have become the most difficult to conquer at the moment. I'd go into detail but.. I'm not sure if that would be a good idea.. seeing as some people I know in my life are involved and possibly read this.

I'm not one to out a friend or family member out on a blog...

I have so many friends to listen, I just always feel like I talk to much and burden people with my issues rather then help them out to. I know I should be a little more open about my feelings and let people in to see and tell me something to push me along, but I'm just afraid of criticisms and just the way they'll view me after.

So other than my depressing sob story.. I actually have some fun stuff to talk about. Being M.I.A for a few months and all..


Summer has begun and what a summer it's been thus far, working.. and working... oh and of course WORKING. Not that I'm complaining my pay checks are very nice this year :D I just wish my friends and I were able to get together a little more often to spend some time together. I was very lucky to have one of my best friend Mar get a job at the movie theatre I work at now Silver City.. so me and her can reminisce about the good times.. and get caught up and our so-called "love lives" which .. I really don't have much to say.

My job is really the best one I've had yet, great management, awesome people, cool perks, just awesome. I've met some really nice people and made so many new friend, WHICH, I'd like to point one out.. Tom... hey Tom.. what's cookin' good lookin'. I hope your reading this..

You are by far the coolest dude friend (next to the house pals) I have yet!!! I know we've only known each other a little over a month.. but man oh man.. I'm so lucky to have this job and to have met you!!

Now ladies.. do you want to meet a guy with the softest.. most luscious hair.. well glide your fingers through this guys gorgeous head of golden blond locks.. OH EM GEE!

Oh I'm also looking into buying a new car :D I'm super excited I finally can either pass down my piece of shit.. or trade it in baby!! OH YEAH!! My cousin has offered a room to me during my school year.. which I'm super excited about too.. my stupid house making decisions from this past year will never happen again.. worst mistake ever!!

I bought a wii fit, trying to get back into shape even though I don't have a ton of time during the day I have to admit this little contraption has really helped me. When my little cousin is sleeping.. i hope right on and exercise away.. for 40 min and I feel great. MOTHER'S.. this seriously is a must.. if you don't have a wii.. get one.. and then a wii fit!!! All this bad publicity it's been getting is bullshit like the one about people suing because of damage done to their homes.. from using it. What artards don't know how to clear a space to be able to move ON THE BOARD!! seriously. Oh the little 12 year old who was old she was "fat" more like obese from the wii fit bmi calculator.. the girl was 5'2 and 120.. well i'm 21 and thats my weight.. and my BMI is 24.33 thats just about normal. So maybe at 12.. you might want to think about shedding some extra pounds..
Is that to harsh.. really? Honestly.. this girl made me feel skinny.. thats impressive. It really does bother me that parents let their kids get to these extreme weights and kind of let it slide. I think I'm an average size.. I mean it doesn't help that my tata's are almost 10 pounds each.. but seriously on a good day.. I think I could pull of modal body status .. for size 7..

almost 11.. I'm going to see Wall-e tonight with a bunch of my cast mates from work.. this outta be fun :D I'm so worried I'll fall asleep, I have been sleeping well.. with work and everything I haven't been getting my 8 hours.. more like 4-5. I wish my family would start to understand that this is what I have to do to get by.. I have rent, car, tuition, loans, credit cards, food, clothes.. all this to by and I'm only working a nanny and part-time job. My student loan will be a complete 30 thousand.. after i graduate.. thats 200 bucks a month for a interest payment.. that plus my car payment.. maybe 300-400 hundred.. my social life will suck ginormous sweaty balls this coming year.

Money is the root of all evil.. and until I either a) win the lottery b) have some money just pop up from no where or c) become filthy rich and famous.. or d) play the stock market right.. I'm effed.

Ok i'm going to take a 15 min nap.. or i'll die..

Well world.. I'm off to sleepy town.


"Don't hate the player, hate the game"

- J-dizz ya'll lol

Cookie?!

A horrible sound of an alarm clock fills my ears.. I look over.. 6:30 am. Arggh.. I hit the snooze.. and 15 min later, the alarm. A not so ear shattering buzzing noise, but a nice calm voice of Dean Blundell and Todd engulf my room.
A more smiley me gets up and realizes... HOLY EFF I HAVE 1 DAY LEFT OF SCHOOL!! THIS ROCKS..


Ah another year over and another summer on it's way!! It's been a really rough year like I stated in my new years post, but if it wasn't for my friends and family.. I know I wouldn't be here.

I think I've learned more about myself then I ever have. I've made some really big mistakes and made some really good mistakes along the way.

I've been more busy then I ever have, and to tell you the truth I loved every minute of not being about to play WoW (which I unsubscribed to), The Sim2, Wii, and watching mindless television. I think I've created such a better understanding about the way things work and have experienced the joys of hard work and it paying off. My friends have shown me that I needed to step it up in order to be noticed.

I've spent more time at school then I have all year at home, I don't even remember the last time I actually spent and entire day at home just chillin! I LOVE IT!!

Busy, is the days of my life!!

So yesterday was my 2nd year screenings and I decided to get all fancied up and wear a dress! i felt so awesome!!! I must say, I'm pretty impressed at the work we spit out this year and FINALLY something I worked on got screened!! It was a shit load of dun I have to say!!

I did go to the 1st year screenings Tuesday and all the M.A boys were all dressed up and looking handsome ;) but when aren't they.. tteehee!


So thats it.. uh, so have a great summer all you college kids and don't do anything I wouldn't do.. hahaha!

Quit Playing Games!!

Wow... 3 1/2 weeks it's been since I've laid eyes on my blog. It's not like anyone reads them anyways, but I find myself terribly frustrated because my heads so clogged with everything; work, school, people, friends, family and my big problem myself. So I use this as my personal councilor to explode at and hate life... well not exactly.

Ah so what interesting and unadventurous things have I been up to.... not much actually. A couple parties here and there... went and saw the movie Penelope, which is such a good movie!! James McAvoy is incredibly sexy and sooooooo amazing, I wish he wasn't married!!! WHY ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN TAKEN! Or even the good ones aren't "interested" GAH..

I'm doing the usual pulling my hair out of my head because the amount of stress that had been going on in my life. I look at myself and compare it to others stressful days and mine aren't even close.. but never the less this isn't something I'm use to. So I tend to panic more easily now and I'm starting to think that this is never ending. Today is Friday and I have a commercial shoot I'm doing... I have this uneasy feeling that something terrible is going to go wrong, which seems like it may just happen..

The question is, am I putting to much pressure on myself making this seem worse then it is.. or is this a reality and I'm a shitty producer..

There is to much work to be done.. but I love being busy. I'm not being lazy and playing WoW as much and the free time I do have I'm out with my friends more now. I'll just be so pleased when tomorrow is finished. Then I'll be drinking my liver away for St.Patty's day!!!

Sometimes I feel people don't give me a chance. Yes there are a lot of awesome producers in my class.. but, no one asks me to do it. I have a hard time pushing people to get a position. Maybe it's my social-anxiety, or just the fact I'm shy. I want to have a big roll in a production.. hopefully my time will come.


So how's everything else.. it's alright. I think I worry about things to much and over analyze things. I feel everything happening to me is going to have a bad out come. Really I do..

I wish I could let things just happen and be really easy going...

Oh well I can only hope something up lifting and cool is going to come about soon.. well something did.. but again I'm having my worries about that awesome thing to... men..


Can't live with them, can't live with out them..

I just wish I had the courage to say something..



have a great week-end everyone :)

Not Dead By Tripod!

Ah another week gone and another eventful week have I had..indeed.

So it's been awhile since I've posted but it's good because I've had such an incredibly mind blowing 2 weeks.

OK Week 1:

So the beginning wasn't actually exciting... I did go home to F.E with my friend Mar and we went shopping in buffalo and went to a tribute concert to The Doors. When we were shopping I felt I'd give it a shot so we went into best buy for a tick and I asked someone if they had any Guitar Hero 3's for the Wii.... now keep this in mind... I've been to that buffalo Best Buy..uh 3 times now and no dice, been to stores all over Mississauga, Oakville, Niagara Falls and F.E for the longest time. I've been looking for this thing since I've had my Wii and no dice. Well low and behold they had... 1 just 1 left. I was almost crying I was so happy. I was in that state of mind were you think "Buy.. no buy.. life altering game.. never in stock... last one left.. Jesus is telling you something... he held it there just for you" so I didn't buy it... no I'm kidding.. I'm not that stupid!!! 92.00 later I'm walking out of that store the happiest woman ever... nerdy gamer woman ever that it and did actually buy any clothes or nothing because I had no money left... hahah.
The Door tribute by the B.P.O was incredible, espically with all the 60 year old drunkards around us yelling !!

So week went on.. thursday came and it was a big night for me.. huge.. almost like my wedding.. no not really, but you'd think. It was LOST heck yesery it was! My favourite show was finally coming back on after all the pain staking months of me silting my wrist and pour peroxide and vinegar on them because the show wasn't on for so long. It wasn't as good as I had thought it would be, but never the less it was back on!!! While we gandered on we heard about a bug storm a bruin and was hoping it would come soon for a snow day... I hate fridays I have 10 hours of bloody class.. boo. Anywho, seeing as we were all at my house till about 2 we (the lot of us watching lost who went to Sheridan) decided to band together and no go to class in the morning. Hurray for us.. you Sheridan College Media Arts rebels.. we don't need our morning classes we have the power of internet!! We were up till 2 because we were watching The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2006 with Noel Fielding this sexy man... the one on the right... in the lighting bolt suit! Yes this man, who has changed my life completely and made me RE-fall in love with Britain again.. I was heavily addicted to the British culture.. fell out for Australia and now back in the game! Jonathan Ross FTW! Anyways, so we watching many clips of him and Russel Brand who is also a sexy devil and won't mind a night spanking his monkey around in my pants.. maybe Noel would like to join. I could say something more naughtier, but my mom might be reading.. so I'll keep it NC-17 here.. or 18A.. who knows..
So, bottom line.. we got our wish a snow day I spent the better of the day playing Guitar Hero and eating.. oh and watching Kyle XY. Oh forgot to mention that on the Monday I played Guitar Hero for 10 hours.. am I an addict or just a nerd?!

So the storm was big.. almost 20 cm of snow and lost of accidents, unfortunate as that was it happens when people aren't careful and lie to their mummies! The week-end came.. nothing exciting.. went and saw 27 dress, not back, but I wouldn't go see it again. Wednesday came around and I was on my way to a meeting with my screen writing teacher and I never realized that I was heading into another bad storm... everything seemed fine to me, got to the school went up to see her and then someone told me the school was close.. huh? I thought ok.. I'll just leave.. did and went to walmart to pick a few things up.. well on my way something so scary happened to me. I was pulling up to turn into walmart, which was on the left of me and as I was pulling up come to a stop to wait for the green light I started to spin and came out a bit and to my right was this truck and I was about 5 inches away from hitting him when another car driving from their green light almost skidded into my door and hit me... thank god my brother taught me about e-braking more and Jesus loves me, Matty, Nana, Papa, Chris, Aunty Pauline, Grammy, Grampa, Mor-Mor, Bumpy, Delilah up in her hamster heaven... all of them, apparently I'm not suppose to die yet.. not until I have my way with either Elijah Wood, Noel Fielding or Matt Dallas.. and throw in some Russel Brand and Jonathan Ross.. haha then I can die a happy woman..

SO I thought hurray what an exciting hump day for me.. and a good week so far.. but wait.. it gets better.

Friday February 8, 2008: 2:16:

I'm sitting in the back of B124 at Sheridan College being bored to death by a lecture not paying attention and goofing off on the interweb. A sound can be heard from out side the room.. a buzzing beeping noise, no one really notices it. A voice is speaking, but everyone thinks it's a test. 2 seconds later the entire class is hushed and the voice says "This is lockdown, this is not a test this is real. Please find the nearest classroom to go for cover" this repeats about 80 times. Our class being mostly made of class clowns doesn't think anything of it. Until someone checks the school's website and it had "serious lockdown" somewhere in there. We'll we didn't panic, just yet. We followed most of the procedure shut lights off and some hide in the front were, if someone opened the door we were some what hidden. Well one of my mates had a camera and film most of the stuff going on, because security office is RIGHT there in our window and most of the action took place there. So in this situation your not suppose to be in the window... and our teachers didn't say anything, pissers. Moving on, so our friend Mike's sister works for a security place and texted him saying there's a gunman in our school.. WOW.. not cool.. we freaked. Next thing you know a S.W.A.T team is barging into our classroom because of the people in the window checkin to see if we were hostages or something... this was serious we thought, we and my friend Erin were freakin out because we didn't know what was going on.. we were constantly checking the internet for answers. Well at 4:30 we were released. After all that waiting and wondering freakin out and getting bombarded by paparazzi.. ahaha like to think were were celebs thats day. So what happened was that a teacher thought a guy wearing camo carrying a TRIPOD was a gun. Yes... a tripod. It;s stupid, but when you think about it.. he could have mistaken a gun for a tripod and it could have been worse.


So there's my exciting week's.. more to come, things happen in 3. I did go to the house pal's place for a party it was a bandanna party.. 3rd year's showed up and made it very weird and awkward. Not to mention Mar embarrased the heck out of me.. lol. Ok last house pals party which was ring in the New Year 1929.. I was really intoxicated.. and ended up their bathroom making-out with.. a very handsome class mate of mine.. haha and it's a huge joke with everyone know in my program year. So I went in the washroom to pee, came out and Mar was there and said... ah bad memories in there eh... or wait nooo good ones I bet.. as I'm saying heck yes.. in the corner of my eye I see him looking at me.. omg.. awkward.. as I said walking up stairs!! Would have liked another go in that washroom.. with him last night, but oh well..


Well fun fun fun... almost die... and more fun!! I'm hoping more people will read my blog, I'm not as depressing now... I've steered clear of problems well this week!! hahah


Later mates!



P.S: funny story about lockdown 08.. i got one text out to someone (my brother) because I lost all signal on my phone... and when I finally got home I had about 20 missed calls... one being my dad.. crying to me on the phone all worried because my cousin called him making the situation more serious then it was.. my dad was almost getting his riffle out and heading down my way until he heard all was ok... my dad everyone.. the hero! haha

Your peeving me off!!

Ah another day... and another waste of my time!
Here I am sitting in my room bored out of my mind trying to doooo something, but I can't think of a blinkin' thing to do. I'm wasting my time by doing nothing!!

So my day started as it always does when I have a day off, I am woken up by the must ear shattering racket of Beetles and Bob Marley.. not to mention the bass what soooo loud. I was in the middle of a hot steamy dream.. with ahem.. a hot fellow. I try to get back to sleep because the night before I was up at 8 and worked all day at school and then came home did some homework and then played WoW, busy day it was... so I finally get to bed around 3, which everyone else in the house is asleep.
I can't understand how people can be so inconsiderate, I never have my music loud at all unless it's just me in the house. Blasted room mates, as much as I love'em... ok scratch that as much as I love the other 2.. sometimes I wonder if they even realize I exist in the house because of the racket they make and the stupid things they do. I have a hard time with people because when I realize their bad habits they become my pet peeves.. fo example. One of my room mates leave the television on ALL THE TIME.. and I'm always having to turn it off, then theres the lights.. always on. Not to mention the fact some of them don't respect other peoples property.. LIKE MY ROOM.. it seems my room is a haven for them to take my hamster our and play with him.. THEN BLOODY FORGET ABOUT HIM!!! The other night I was recovering from a major headache and a bit of a hang over.. so I chilled by the tv all night. Well they asked to let him out, no biggy.. 1 1/2 later I come up stairs to find him MISSING!!!!!!!!! (btw, he's got a little ball he runs around in so he doesn't get loose) So I'm frantically searching for him while they don't seems to realize how important this is.. Monet is my life, he's like my child and to have him lost is like nothing I could imagine. Well I found him thank god.. and looked to see if he was ok.. WELL i look at the bottom of his ball and see about 50 piece of shit laying at the bottom!!!!!!!!!! HE COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED BECAUSE OF THIS!! MAN.. so fuck that I was pissed.. they tried to apologize.. no dice, they did this before. However, they actually lost him.. he wasn't in his cage or in his ball!! I'm freaking out all the while their telling me it's not a big deal they'll find him... THAT'S NOT THE BLOODY POINT!! IT'S CALLED RESPONSIBILITY ... we learned it in grade 1!!! So my poor hamster is traumatized, I'm not even flipping out... i wish I did.. I was all calm afterwards and not screaming at them.. I was just thankful he was back. I wasn't even home at the time they took him out I was at home in Fort Erie and luckily came home just in time.

It's like everyone here is out to get me in this house and get me to leave.. which I want to so badly. I don't put up with his shit.. I don't put up with fucking nasty attitudes and smoking ALL THE TIME.. and thats not cigarettes either..
I'm serious, in the morning.. they get high.. in the afternoon and night.. anytime they can!! I'm not saying I don't smoke.. but not everyday.. maybe 2 times a month not even! They always complain they have no money.. well I wonder why. Your not paying for gas, rent, food, books, productions.. things that matter.. your buy pot and cigarettes.. and the other essentials to. Don't get me wrong, they are doing some good things. Like the other day my family was over at my house in fort Erie and I needed to go home to drop off a scuba suit, well they wanted to clean.. however I needed to leave by 12.. well they just put on this snooty attitude with me because I needed to leave.. not my fault you picked that day to clean. I took some of the garbage out. Oh hold on a sec.. who for the first few month living there.. cleaned my own freakin couch that had PUKE all over it from one of my room mates friends.. who scrubbed on her hands and knees for 2 hours to clean the kitchen floor because it hadn't looked to have been cleaned in a year.. who FOR 3 HOURS CLEANED THE ENTIRE OVEN.. I swear.. it hadn't been touched since this place was rentable. I cleaned bathrooms that had e-coli and salmonellae all over.. and mold. I've done my fair share around here.. I drive their ass' around and don't ask for a red cent hoping they would do something nice in return.. do they? Heck no.. they scold me because I haven't cleaned dishes.. well I'll get to them when I'm not working or have a film to shoot and HOMEWORK!! When I actually have time to WIPE MY ASS!!

Man people frustrate me.. they use my stuff with out asking.. come into my room when I'm not home.. do I, not unless their door is open and either Monet has crawled into their room or I pop in to see if their there.

It's like no matter how much I try to be a good person in this house and life in general, I'm always wrong and get the shit end of the stick.

My time is going to come soon.. i know I've been saying for awhile, but it's coming.. I hope.

One for all, all for one!!

Ok so I've come home for a night to drop off some stuff at my place and my Aunt Pam just happened to make a surprise visit which is awesome!!!
What a fantastic week I had!! So much going on and the thing to end it all... the New Years party at the house pals = rockage!!!! It was a 1929 new years party so you had to dress up like a person from the 20s which was sooo fun got to meet some new rad people pretty much it was off the hook!!

So anyways back to my Aunt.. well she brought over High School Musical 2 so as much as it sounds lame... i love the movie. So I never realized how much I hated that Vanessa Hudgens she's god damn annoying.. her voice her singing.. GAH.. and those naked photos she posted how stupid.. and nasty!!! AH and the fact Disney's rehired her back to be in High School Musical 3... ok come on parents do you really want your kids finding that shit... she's not actually that good looking.. I have no clue what Zac Efron sees in her..

ok enough ranting about bitchy McI-like-to-post-naked-because-Im-a-whore Hudgens..

HELLO 2008... NOW GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

Wow.. my first post since 07. Nothing special, but I thought I'd fill you in on the crap and dazzle going on this year already!

So I'm back in the O-town and already shit's flying on the roof gah! Got in a huge fight with one of my room mates regarding our other room mate who is moving out and her room is the biggest and she told us that she is taking it.. well no dice in my eyes... I feel everyone should have an equal chance at everything. Even though she's been here the longest, she had previously told me she gave it up.. you snooze you loose. So she was not happy.. and she started yelling and I did and I was about to scream!! She was getting all in my face trying to bully. Luckily I was going home that day to pick something up for a movie I was doing.. because if not she'd, like she his, not give up what so ever until she got her way. Well bottom line is.. greedy people can have what they want but they lose a lot more in the end. She can apologize all she wants to me, but I've had enough bullshit from her, she has such a horrible attitude, she's rude, impatient, just a real nasty person when she wants.
So then I went home and had to listen to my mom getting all upset over the fact my brother was favouriting his material possesions over his own mother... not a happy camper was I when I got there.. I left FUMMING!! Got back to my dad's and ripped into him about Ben and him brainwashing him... ohhh I think I must have cried enough buckets of water to feed a village of people.. although I don't know why people would WANT to drink tears.. whatever so.. this year has started off bad.. not completely but I'm feeling like it's 07 all over again.

Came home the next day around 6:30 and being the person I am.. trying to avoid confrontation, I dropped my stuff of and left again. I went to the movies and watch Juno, which made me feel so much better because this movie is by far the coolest movie ever!! I was like quoting and singing the music all the way home!!! If you haven't seen it.. GO NOW if you have SEE IT AGAIn!!!!!!!!!!!

and thats all I have to say...